Thursday, July 26, 2007

"Not Feeling So Good Myself"

Tough times as of late. My wife, Beth, died in 2005 and I miss her every day. It has really been a tough road lately, though. Her race is won, but I struggle with mine. The amazing thing is...God just keeps bringing me through! My testimony is: "I am still here!" My best friends, Mary Ann and Dean..we talk about PRESSING ON. That has been my theme for the past 2 years. Press on and press through.

A loss like this gives so much perspective if you allow it to. I have been recalling the "crossroads" Beth's sudden illness and death put me at in February 2005. I remember thinking to myself: "Russ, you are either going to run away from God as fast as you can, or you are going to run to Him as fast as you can." I remember that decision, and yes... it was a decision. God is a good God, and as Dean always reminds me...He does not change. (Malachi 3 :6)

My life verse(s) has always been 1 Thessaloninas 5:16-18. "Be joyful always; pray continuously; and give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
I give thanks IN all circumstances...not "because" of my circumstances.

I thank God for my friends/family who have walked beside me. The pain is still there, but there really is hope. God has really used my experiences to "walk beside" others. Look up 2 Corinthians 1:3-6. I do look at life differently (is that a cliche?). God's comfort and peace are available...nothing compares!

2 comments:

Karen said...

Your strength shows more than you may realize! Beth's life and death has brought about a true change in you and I have watched as you have grown and matured in your walk with Christ and I can't tell you how proud of you I am!

Mary Ann said...

I was reminded of Psalm 139:5 by a friend this week as I faced my battles this week - feeling "hemmed in". You are right Russ - making a decision in the midst of our most difficult and smothering circumstances - seeing HIM and knowing without a doubt that God is present in these situations. To be able look up and know His Hand is also "upon me" is all the comfort I need and to be honest, all I can muster at times. His words say it best:
"such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it."

PRESS ON!