Anniversary

I have not written in almost a week, and I have missed it. I was on vacation this week to volunteer at Hope as we hosted the satellite broadcast of Willow Creek's Leadership Summit. Everything was great...we worked hard and enjoyed every minute of it. We were blessed to be able to serve some amazing churches, leaders, and servants.

The Summit marks my "anniversary" of serving at Hope. My first foray into volunteering was at the first Summit we did at Hope (2005). However, because the Summit is usually held during the second week of August, it also marks my wedding anniversary...today August 11.

I love Summit time, but it is also always a reminder of the fact that Beth and I cannot celebrate the greatest day in our lives. I was fine until about 1PM today. We were so busy, and things slowed a bit, and I decided to slip into the balcony to catch a little of Bill Hybels in the last session. Bill was great in his talk, "Whatever you do, inspire me". When you are exhausted, your emotions can just carry you away, and mine did. I spent about 30 minutes alone in the chapel praying and crying...feeling like I did right after Beth died.

Pastor Joe asked if there was anything he could do, but I told him that it was "just part of it". It is..it truly is just part of it." This anniversary was more difficult than 2005 and 2006. People always think that funerals are tough for me to attend, but weddings are always harder for me. Weddings remind me of my wedding and my beautiful bride, and the life we should have been living today.

I received a couple of cards. I cried a lot. I prayed a lot. I thought about Beth all day. I thought about Beth and Russ all day. I miss her terribly but I know we will be re-united one day. God sustained me today in the midst of my storm.