Around In Circles

I feel stuck sometimes...emotionally, spiritually, physically...MENTALLY! Marching in place...left, left, left, right, left. I am coming to realize, however, that sometimes God intends for me to be in somewhat of a holding pattern. I tend to take things and run with them on my own, leaving behind the very Holy Spirit who put "those things" on my heart to begin with.

I have felt this strong calling on my life, and I have been nothing but excited about it. (Well, I've also been a little scared, apprehensive...oh and impatient). I don't know what exactly God is calling me to do and it has honestly been a little frustrating for me. I see so many possibilities, but no clarity. Aha! I think that is the lesson God is having me learn now. He wants me to focus on HIM and not the "down the road", so to speak. He is showing me all these possibilities because He IS a God of many endless possibilities!

I was reading this week in Genesis about Abraham and Sarah, a story I thought I knew pretty well. God definitely opened my eyes to some new things. Hey! When He makes a promise...watch out! My faith is a lot like Sarah's was when God promised a child. "Yeah...OK...Right!" Sarah actually laughed. LAUGHED! That's how ridiculous the promise sounded to her.

That's me sometimes. "You are actually choosing to use ME?" "Do You really think that's such a good idea, God?"

My job is to trust what God is doing even when I don't understand it...ESPECIALLY when I don't understand! I just need to keep doing what He told me to do the last time I heard Him. I imagine He'll fill me in as needed.

There's a quote I love: "All who wander are not lost." I don't know who said it, but I remember it from a movie, which is amazing since I don't see a lot of movies. So, it's OK if I sometimes feel as if I'm wandering. I don't want any 40 years in the wilderness kind of wandering, but I'll take it if it helps me to focus on the ONE who called and not just on the calling.