"Oh, the pain of losing you. Never knowing what to do. Oh, the misery I go through. Oh, the pain of losing you."
This is an old song recorded by The Trio - Dolly Parton, Emmylou Harris, and Linda Ronstadt. It's pretty sad. Very sad, actually...and it's where I am this moment. Out of the blue while eating dinner, an overwhelming wave of grief washed over me. I've written here before about these "waves" and their utter unpredictability. This one most definitely threw me off.
February 22 will be the third-year anniversary since Beth's death. Three years. In a way, it seems like 8-10 years, and in most ways...it seems like 2 weeks ago. I've "adjusted" to this different life without her, and I do enjoy my life as best as I can. There is just no accounting for that void sometimes. Yes, I have God. Yes, I can pray through it. Yes, I have so many wonderful friends who surround me with love. I just miss Beth. Not just our life. Not just having "someone" to love. I miss HER. Beth. I miss everything about her, even the stuff that irked me. Our Lord knows that my "stuff" irked her far more often, though!
So...I ask for prayers. Right now, please. If you are reading this, stop right now and please pray for me. I'll be better, I know. I love God and how He has brought me along so far. The pain is still there, and I imagine it will always be. I cannot put into words what Beth meant to me. I sometimes...when I'm honest..have to say that I am NOT so appreciative of the short time we did have together. I wanted more.
I want to see her come down those stairs. I want to feel her in my arms again. I do miss her so much, and the pain of losing her is far worse than I ever could have imagined. I'll go clean the pasta off of the wall now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
"For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer," 1 Peter 3:12
Good for you Russ submitting your pain to "whosoever" shall read and pray for you; I did and I will continue to extend His ear.
Love you Bro. You are in my prayers.
Passage 2 Corinthians 1:3-5:
The God of All Comfort
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
Post a Comment