Not My Most Uplifting Post, But...What Can Ya Do?

I really miss Beth. Tonight has been rough. It hit me that in just a few months, she will have been dead longer than we were actually married. I do not much care for that perspective.

I get so fed up with cliches. "Oh, time heals everything." That's crap! Time does not heal anything. God heals...through time...but time in and of itself does not heal. In reality, I would not be able to put into words the anguish I often feel. I have wonderful friends who listen and care...but I just could not describe the void.

I keep marching...forward, I hope. It seems that whenever God is doing something cool, new, and exciting in my life; well, that's when I miss Beth the most.

Beth's very best friend, Tara, is getting married this fall. I hate it that Beth cannot be there. I hate it for Tara. She lost her dad and Beth in just a short time.

I hurt for Beth's parents. I hurt for Beth's aunt.

I look at Colby, Marley, and Cosmo...the three "babies" we rescued that became part of our family. I love them, and it makes me miss her all the more.

God offers so many wonderful promises in His Word, and I cling to them, and I believe them.

It just hurts, and I want this blog to be an outlet for my honest thoughts and feelings. I get jealous of a husband who still has his wife. I get ticked off when I hear couples argue or dis-respect each other. I don't like being odd-man out, so to speak. I don't like re-living those awful weeks in February 2005; and I think about it all far more than I would even admit to myself.

God's mercies are new each morning. Thank you, Father! The most comforting thing is the assurance that Beth is in heaven today.

Thanks for listening to my heart...through the good and the through the pain.